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United Speakonian Soviet Republic
A faction ruled by Pieboy6000, the United Speakonian Soviet Republic (Соединенные Speakonian Советской Республики in Russian, aka CSCP) is a well known country on Earth 2. Before Earth 1's destruction, they were known as the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics, which ended in 1991. Pieboy saw it as a great and successful union and managed to perfect it just like Vladimir LOLin had hoped to have done on Earth 1. The USSR attacked several places in the United LOLs of ROFLica in several videos using nuclear weapons and other explosives to aid there conquest. These attacks were not authorized by Pieboy6000, and the offenders were found and shot for their crimes. They were originally founded by Pieboy6000, and most of there commands were sent to the leader Josef LOLin from the Pieboy Tower, covertly in Lolcouver, even after a bunch of rebels attacked the tower. The War in the Republic of My started, and on August 1st, 2011, The Supreme AI backstabbed the USSR. On July 30th 2007, former Military Leader Josef LOLin was convicted of terrorism against the United LOLs of ROFLica, and was found guilty. He was executed by USSR troops upon being sentenced guilty, allowing Pieboy6000 to take full control over the USSR. Notable Members of the USSR (Italics mean the person is dead): *Radar Overseer/Battle Advisor Bob *''Vladimir LOLin (Died of natural causes January 1924)'' *''Leon TROLOLOLsky (Assasinated by Josef LOLin, August 1963)'' *''Josef LOLin (Executed by Pieboy6000, July 2007)'' *''Microsoft Anna (Fate Unknown, presumed dead as of March 2010)'' *Pieboy6000 *EmergencyRanger88 *''Radar Overseer Ivan (Killed by a B2 Spirit Stealth Bomber in the Battle for LOLivostok, August 2011)'' *''Radar Overseer Kenneth (Died when the Russian LOLeration was destroyed October 2011)'' *''Radar Overseer Stanislav (Killed by Magical Vanishing OMG Jets during the events of Episode 1 of Microsoft Sam and the war in the ROFL Island Chain, October 2011)'' *''Radar Overseer Yuri (Same as above)'' *''Battle Reporter Vladimir (Died in a car crash after the War in the Republic of My, and was lucky enough to return as a Ghost)'' *Tactic Advisor Nikolai *''Radar Overseer Igor (Died during the War in the ROFL East when he was impaled through the heart by a helicopter rotor after being EMP'd by a nuclear explosion and falling out the back of the helicopter just as it crashed)'' *''Scottyvich Baloneykov (Discharged and formed the Soviet Lulz Brigade, killed by The Supreme AI)'' *Vladimir SOIkarov RorytheRetrokid has stated he is sending 50,000 weapons including ROFL-47's to the Speakonian Armed Forces a month. For some reason, CaliROFLia in the United LOLs of ROFLica decided to become it's own country, so Emergencyranger88 was quickly placed in control of Northern CaliROFLia by Pieboy6000 as a quick decision on July 30th, 2011 just before the Lolcouver Nuclear Disaster as he wanted to check if the launch system worked. After being deported back, EmergencyRanger88 was made 2nd in command for a few hours until he launched multiple ROFLnukes at the Thunderbird Tower. He was quickly demoted and given a sound warning by Pieboy6000, quote: "After the Lolcouver nuclear disaster we have already had, the last thing we need is to be provoking the United LOLs of ROFLica by attacking them while we are weakened.. It pains me, but for this, you are demoted to Military General for unauthorized attack, even on an enemy, as much as I'd have liked to keep you in Second in Command the council were highly against keeping you in your place, just be glad you didn't end up like LOLin, he's dead now. It's a good thing you are not. You are a good man but we must do this for our safety at the moment. Apologies General". This was understood by Emergencyranger88 and the other high-ranking officials of the USSR, that they must be authorized to attack other places in the world. He was promoted back to Second-in-Command and given a second chance, but was warned something like that happening again from his command would bring him out of the position for good. On August the 2nd, 2011, early in the morning (in GMT +0), the United Speakonian Soviet Republic was betrayed by The Supreme AI. The USSR sent a plea for help to the United Lols Of Roflica, hoping that they would help them in the new-found battle. The USSR then officially declared war on the Supreme AI at 02:27 (BST) on August 2nd 2011. As of January 31st, 2012, the USSR now owns a small bunch of islands, known as the "СССР отдаленных островов" (in Russian), which means "Remote islands of the USSR". After every victory, URAs can be heard throughout the area which the victory took place from soldiers. Weaponry, Equipment, and Vehicles The USSR use many weapons and vehicles to combat enemies and to get about. Weapons: ROFL-47 Assault Rifle, LOLt M1911, ROFL-6 Nerve Gas, M4A1 ROFLCarbine, Tactical ROFLNuke with Interchangable parts, ROFL-60 Machine Gun, LMAO-115 Laser Pistol (used by Pieboy6000 and his EMP-Proof turrets only, has vista mode), Tactical Combat Knife (can be thrown), M2 LOLnade, ROFLhawk (Throwing Axe), .357 LOLt Python, The Ender Airdrop Bomb, the Tsar LOLa ROFLNuclear bomb, ROFL-6 Missile, Ebola Virus Dispenser Missile, Lollogram Of All Bombs (LOAB) Equipment/Attachments: LOLographic Sight ,ROFL-203 Underbarrel Grenade Launcher, Vista Ammo, Vistanium (with Vistadiation), ROFLCOG Sight, Foregrip, TherLOL Scope, The Ender Radio Vehicles: IS-FUCKYOU Main Battle LOLTank, WTF-130 Gunship, LOL-24 Hind, LOL-28 Havoc, ROFL-64 Apache, ROFL Jump Jet (Also known as the ROFL Harrier), LOL-130 Cargo Plane, LOLQ-9 Reaper UAV Plane, ROFL UH-1 Huey, T-26 LOLTank, LOLvee Jeep, LOL-90 Main Battle LOLTank, LOL-72 Main Battle LOLtank, USSR Top Secret vehicle Codename Charlie Golf aka Rofl-56 Space Combat Fighters MK V, Derpator UAV Drone, Kirov Airship (created in Minecraft and sent to the USSR), MI-26 HaLOL Scottyvich Baloneykov Scottyvich Baloneykov was a soldier in the SpetsLOLz, and was distinguishable from every other soldier for many things. He was one of the strongest men in the SpetsLOLz, and had taken out multiple enemy targets without getting hurt. He was very close to being placed into the PSAS, and was respected by even Pieboy himself. However, the United LOLtions brought up evidence against him, claiming that he had oversaw the terrible torture of Lolistani soldiers and civilians, which was an abuse of human rights. He went from Pieboy's best man to his worst enemy within the minute, as he was dishonourably discharged after Pieboy heard of these accusations. Pieboy is quoted as saying in 2009, "I stared him in the eyes as I was about to break to him that he was out of the SpetsLOLz. On the outside, he was your normal, battle-hardy troop who would die for their country, but on the inside, was a whole other monster, quite literally. I may as well have smelt the horrificness of his past years of military service. While I thought he had been fighting for his country, he had been torturing and executing innocents and soldiers alike for his own sick pleasure. As soon as I told him he was out, he stared at me for about 10 seconds, enough time for him to kill me before I even knew it. Instead, he broke the stare, spun on his heel and left the room, and I never saw him again." He never spoke to Pieboy again until 2012, when he contacted the meeting where Sam and Co. were discussing plans during the War in the ROFL Island Chain. In the 4 years he had been gone, he had been developing his own army under it's own rules, the Soviet Lulz Brigade, a bunch of Left-Wing extremists lead by Baloneykov himself. Pieboy was a little bit surprised by this, however as soon as he knew who was in control, he was no longer suprised. Despite the 4 year gap between him leaving, no-one in the SpetsLOLz has ever bested Baloneykov's abilities in combat. Pieboy demanded that if Scottyvich is captured, he is to be executed. Pieboy declared he should be the one to carry out the actt, and was quoted as saying "I want to make sure that the last thing Scottyvich sees is me holding my Golden ROFL Eagle to his head before blowing his brains out.". Pieboy never got to do this, however he was happy to hear Scottyvich died a slow, horrible, painful death. Devastation After being betrayed by The Supreme AI, billions of Soiturrannian troops invaded the USSR. The USSR was able to put up somewhat of a fight, but the country fell after a week of brutal fighting. The leaders fled to unknown locations. Two months later, the Diarrhea Death Star: Supreme Excrement Edition was tested on Earth 2, targeting the USSR at the lowest possible firepower. The entire country was reduced to a pile of excrement. The USSR's partner, the United LOLs of ROFLica (along with the Republic of CaliROFLia), was invaded and occupied by Satan, Devil's Hell Star, the Horribly Deformed Midget Pig Monkeys with Automatic Firearms, and the Communist Linux Penguin Army. The USSR was not disbanded and still exists. However, approximately 141,848,000 people were killed in either the land battle or the Diarrhea Death Star, including civilians and soldiers. Only about 1,500 people of the Russian LOLeration managed to escape in time before the destruction. After the War in the Republic of My... Once the War in the Republic of My finally ended, the Russian LOLeration was rebuilt in roughly 1 week by Demolition Repair Droids and Repair bots from the ULR. The United LOLs of ROFLica and the USSR became full allies. The USSR has made it their goal to destroy anybody remaining who was sided with the Supreme AI, except for Satan and Devil's Hell Star for obvious reasons. As soon as the Russian LOLeration was completely rebuilt, many people flocked too it, especially to LOLscow to see the Memorial to everyone who died while fighting the Supreme AI's evil forces. Population levels suddenly jumped, through people wanting to live in the country. The USSR was very settled since the end of the war. A nuclear weapon, the Tsar LOLa was tested, which made history by being the strongest ROFLnuke EVER concieved. It was tested on a small, uninhabited island just north of the LOLeration. The island was obliterated. The Nuke is being held incase another time like the war comes along, and this time they will be ready. They have shared their secrets with the ULR, so if either was to turn on the other, they would know everything. However, the chances of that occuring are so low, that the nuke may never be used on anyone on Earth 2. As a result, the USSR is back again, gaining a second chance after hitting it's lowest point. On September the 14th, the USSR's top scientists developed a bomb capable of massive damage of non-nuclear properties. It was tested on an abandoned city, and the bomb flattened 3 city blocks. A plane can hold up to 3, and it was appropriatly named "The Ender". The War in the ROFL Island Chain 4 months after the previous war, the USSR and the ULR are still getting along fine. However, a splinter faction of the USSR, the "Soviet Lulz Brigade" began attacking the ROFL Island Chain in the AtLOLtic ocean. Pieboy6000 was absolutely furious about this and the events of episode 1 of The War in the ROFL Island Chain occured. Pieboy6000 declared war on the Soviet Lulz Brigade, along with the United LOLs of ROFLica, The Republic of My and Great LOLtain. A transmission from LOLVB-76 in the LOLeration was heard on October 30th 2011, informing Pieboy of the attack in the ROFL Island Chain (again) and advising him to prepare arms, and to get nuclear weapons sorted so they should be ready to launch. The message was fake, however Pieboy did it anyway, preparing him for the war that was to occur in 4 months. Pieboy threatened that if North KoROFLia refused to leave the alliance with the SLB, that he would launch nuclear weapons at them if they continued to push to attack. Pieboy recently got some now people on his team. Battle Reporter Vladimir, who is a ghost after dying in a car accident after the War in the Republic of My to report on battles against the enemy, and Tactic Advisor Nikolai, who remains with Pieboy and Radar Overseer Bob at all times. Bob was also made Radar Overseer/Battle Advisor, effectively giving him two jobs he is capable of doing. Several days into the War in the ROFL Island Chain, the Soviet Lulz Brigade rebuilt The Supreme AI. However, the superweapon was able to override Baloneykov's orders, and hacked into the USSR's nuclear launch system, sabotaging the abort codes and launching twenty-two nuclear missiles. All hit their target, but Vietlol remained unharmed from the attack thanks to anti-nuclear missile shields being raised in time. The shields however, could not stop the enormous EMP that swept over Lolope and Lolsia, destroying everything with an electronic system in it, save for the few systems in the USSR that were shielded from the effects of EMPs. Fifty million people perished in the nuclear attacks, the worst attack in the planet's history. He later discovered that 1/3 of his government had in common with the SLB. "SLB" was tattooed backwards on their right arm. These men were told to be killed on sight. An estimated 300 USSR government members were executed and 100 more escaped. The ones that escaped were luckily new in the government and didn't know anything good about the USSR. Pieboy is watching his government closely, and any suspicious activity is immediately questioned. This means that the USSR can help take back the ROFL Island Chain, if they ever recieve a call for help. Operation: Electromagnetic Doom During the War in the ROFL Island Chain, Pieboy6000 was having a meeting with some of his men, when he suddenly heard sirens, followed by some terrible news: Nuclear launches were being detected in the far east of the USSR, and the tower's ROFLNuke launcher was preparing to launch. Pieboy6000 instantly demanded Nuclear Weapon Overseer Federov to find out what was happening, but he already knew. Someone had hacked into the USSR nuclear launch system and had fired twenty-two nuclear weapons already. Pieboy instantly (and sadly, correctly) guessed the Supreme AI was the perpetrator of this act. As he prepared to disarm all of the nukes, he was cut off. Nuclear missiles had already impacted in Lolrope and Lolsia, causing great devestation, severely damaging major cities such as Lolscow, Loldon, Mycroft City and Baloneyville, and eighteen other major cities. Pieboy began to disarm the final nuclear weapon, and was told that a massive EMP (Electromagnetic Pulse) had swept across Lolrope and Lolsia, plunging the continents into blackout, with the exception of Vietlol, who had nuke shields up at the time. Over fifty million people died in the blasts alone. The USSR was initially blamed for the catastrophe, however James ROFL of the RIA learned of the Supreme AI's successful hacking attempt and alerted Sam to what has happened. News reporters believed that these attacks could plunge the world into nuclear war. The countries hit by nukes were: Great Loltain, the USSR, Chilol, North and South Koroflia, Lolpan, Lolkraine, Froflance, Lolmany, Lolway, Hungloly, Italol, Polold, Lolmania, Turkloly, Israelol, Denlolk, and Afglolistan, however every country on the continents went into blackout from the EMP, and fallout began to spread. Notable happenings *'February 2007' - Pieboy6000 executed Josef LOLin and takes over the USSR. *'July 2007' - A temporary alliance between the USSR and the ULR forms for the War in the ROFL East *'July 2011' - USSR fights in the War in the Republic of My *'September 2011' - The USSR is decimated by the Diarrhea Death Star. *'October 2011' - The USSR is reconstructed, USSR and ULR unite. *'January 3rd, 2012 - '''The USSR goes to war with LOLbodia after they attack Vietlol, and EmergencyRanger88 asks Pieboy for assistance. *'January 23rd, 2012 - The USSR begins developing biological weapons, the first being the Ebola Virus Dispensing missile. Chemical weapons are also produced, notably the ROFL-6 Missile. *'''January 26th, 2012 - Population boom, the USSR no longer has too much food. *'January 30th, 2012 - '''After much tension between the USSR and GeoROFLgia, as well as the shooting down of 5 USSR passenger jets, the USSR declared war on GeoROFLgia. *'January 31st, 2012 - VietLOL tests it's newest non-nuke weapon on a small island, destroying much of it and it's dreaded inhabitants. The USSR, VietLOL and IreLOL took the remaining islands, IreLOL to the east, VietLOL to the south, and the USSR to the North and West. *'February 2nd, 2012 - '''The USSR places Froflance under it's protection and warns that anyone who attempts to attack it will face nuclear retaliation. *'February 4th, 2012 -''' The USSR and VietLOL Declare War on LOLmania and The USSR conquers LOLmania. *'''February 26th, 2012 - The USSR goes to DEFCON 1 and put it's nuclear missiles on standby. The Tsar LOLa, Earth 2's most deadly ROFLNuke, is also getting prepared to launch. *'February 27th, 2012 - '''Pieboy gets unconfirmed reports of possible traitors in the government, he disregards these claims as "Believable, but nonsense", until the 28th. *'February 27th, 2012''' - After learning that the Orbital ROFL Laser required a crystal that the Sam and Co. needed to obtain so they could destroy North Koroflia, Pieboy performed a nuclear strike on North Koroflia, killing thousands of people. The shock of this news was what killed Kim-Jong Lol, and the final words he heard were a transmission from Pieboy saying: "You pay for your power-greed with the blood of your people. This was all your fault, Kim. This is what you get for co-operating with them." *'February 28th, 2012 - '''Pieboy discovers what happened in LOLs Angeles and disarms the nuclear missiles, including the Tsar LOLa, and around 1/3 of suspected government traitors are hunted down, the ones who survived either escaped or were caught and executed later for conspiring with the Soviet Lulz Brigade. *'February 28th, 2012 - Twenty three nuclear missiles (excluding the Tsar LOLa) are launched after the USSR nuclear weaponry systems are compromised by the Supreme AI. The ROFLNuke launcher on the tower also launches, but it is disarmed before it reaches it's location (which was LOLingrad) when he opened his laptop and remotely disarmed it. It harmlessly crashlanded on DubLOL Beach in IreLOL and is now a monument to all who died during the nuclear attacks. *'February 29th, 2012 - '''After the EMP had finally gone, the USSR mass produced multiple nuclear weapons and set them into an unhackable system. After producing over 10,000 nuclear weapons in over a day, it was been confirmed that the USSR would lose the least in a nuclear war. *'March 15th, 2012 - 'After an unprovoked nuclear attack by both VietLOL and Minecraft, the USSR and ChiLOL form an alliance, the USSR swears to protect ChiLOL at all costs. Trivia *EmergencyRanger88, the overlord of VietLOL, and the vice leader of the USSR, owns a residence in the USSR. He has been in the USSR since 2007, but didn't reveal the fact until 2011. He also fought in the War in the ROFL East, but didn't want anyone to know about the fact until 2011 as well. *The USSR is the only nation that uses the Speakonia logo instead of an Awesome face on the flag. *The USSR is the largest country by land mass on Earth 2. Music of the United Speakonian Soviet Republic thumb|right|300px|The United Speakonian Soviet Republic war theme'The war theme Made By EASlol Durring His Music Series "Music Of The TTS World". Pieboy has accepted this theme is the USSR's war theme. If the USSR is going into battle, they play this theme to intimidate the enemy. It has been proven that any battles that had this song played by the army band at the beginning of a battle have ended in the Soviet's favour. thumb|300px|right|The anthem of the original USSR on Earth 1, still used in Earth 2's USSR.The National Anthem of the Soviet Union The National Anthem of the Soviet Union was written by Sergey Vladimirovich Mikhalkov (lyrics), and Alexander Vasilyevich Alexandrov (the music itself). It was first heard in 1944 during World War 2 on Earth 1. In 1977 it gained new lyrics after De-Stalinization in 1953. Until 1977, it was played without lyrics. The theme was adopted for the USSR on Earth 2, Pieboy considering it good to use a theme from a Nation that was technically the same as his. It is usually heard when Pieboy is about to speak publically, and is played in the Pieboy Tower every hour (unless there is an event such as a party, a speech, an emergency) except for on Room 69. Category: Nations previously/currently at War. Category:Participants in the War in the Republic of My Category:Participants in The War in the ROFL Island Chain Category:Nations Category:Communist Nations Category:Participants in The War in the ROFL East Category:Participants in The War in the LOLmania Category:Participants in the War In Southeast LOLsia Category:Participants in the war in the VietLOLese Islands Category:Nations affected by Operation Eletromagnetic Doom Category:Participants in The War in GeoROFLgia